The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the condom got lost in my hair
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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