there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
