He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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