Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
