Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize