She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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