i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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