my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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