ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize