please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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