we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
