great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
