Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
