found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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