I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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