Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
