Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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