i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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