When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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