So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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