so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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