Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
