i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you inspire me to be a worse person
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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