do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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