How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
