Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
