I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
