Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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