So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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