In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
