think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
