yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
