You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
