As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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