9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i've created a new STD.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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