Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
