U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize