just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
