Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
