would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
