Your dad touched me again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Life is so much better after having sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
