If that was your dad, he is hot
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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