we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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