Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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