Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
