I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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