i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
