you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
