I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
