there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
