I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
