Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
