I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
