is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
