worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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