He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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