sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
